Lonely
by crystal97
Summary: Lucy had felt empty for a year after Natsu left her and her guild disbanded. When he suddenly reappears before her, she can't help, but spill her heart's suffering to him. Natsu begins to understand how lonely she's been and goes to show her in his own way just how much he's longed to be by her. Late Nalu week entry. Day 1- Longing. One-shot


I didn't get the chance to put this up for Nalu week so I'll just put it here as well since I've already posted this one-shot on my Tumblr. This is a NALU one-shot of how I think Lucy talks to Natsu about how she feels about him leaving for a year. It'll be sort of angsty in the beginning, but will end sorta fluffy

Nalu Week prompt: DAY 1- LONGING  
Name: Lonely  
Rating: 'T'  
Pairing: NALU  
Summary: Lucy had felt empty for a year after Natsu left her and her guild disbanded. When he suddenly reappears before her, she can't help, but spill her heart's suffering to him. Natsu begins to understand how lonely she's been and goes to show her in his own way just how much he's longed to be by her as much as she has

Lonely

There is no forever in this world. Along with abandonment comes the painful reality of loneliness and most of all the yearning for what was lost. A long and painful and cruel wait. And something that simply narrows all the pain into a single feeling and a single word: Longing

I first realized that when I was 5 years old. I was stupidly naïve, believing the world was perfect and that days would always be bright. How quickly my dream world had fallen to pieces when my mother died. I even dared believe she was sleeping when the maid had let out a yell. The pain of not realizing that once I tried to wake her up, her eyes would never open. And when the situation finally dawned on me that she was as good as gone, I ran out from the room not even giving a second glance to my mother. And I regret it. I mourned deeply and sobbed my slowly blackening heart. A part of my heart had been emptied out. I tried as best as I could to regain my child innocence as I did what a normal girl did. I played with the last gift my parents had given, a single doll. I ran in the gardens avoiding from letting my mind wander to my mother.

I never even got to see her body in the coffin because my father denied me to look at her one final time. I had to resign with the last image of seeing my mother lying limp on the bed and all I did was run from the reality I wanted to burn away. And I was lonely

And as I grew, I no longer felt warmth. Living in a mansion, a great estate, but not a single friend to lighten your dark life. My father rejected my attempts to love him. He rejected my childish gifts of making him silly foods. He rejected my child-like innocence, refusing to play with me; he refused to look at me or so much as glance at me. He rejected me for looking like my mother. I always felt that I reminded him of what he lost, and he hated me for it. So I ran away when I was 17 with my mother's prized celestial spirit keys. And I traveled around like I always wanted to; A world outside the walls of my home, a world where I could forget my loss, my rejection, and my tragic reality. I was deemed lucky to everyone who thought I had it all. But even when I was living the life I had always dreamed of. I was seeing new places and people but still I realized just how big the world was and how small I was in comparison. And I was lonely.

I lost my father next after returning from a 7 year slumber. I felt nothing towards him simply because I felt I did not love him. But when I got home I realized that all the time I was missing he had truly cherished me. When I thought, he had not even the most remote idea about me, he remembered my birthday every year. He wrote me a letter saying how he'd regretted his negligence. He told me he loved me. I sobbed by myself realizing that it wasn't that I hated him. It was that I hadn't cried because I didn't love him. All I had yearned for was to hear him say those words to me. For him to truly tell me that he loved me. I realized that I simply wanted was for him to acknowledge my existence. I cried because I hadn't attempted to fix our relationship. I cried because after all he was my only other parent and he was gone. And I was lonely.

And that all disappeared when you came into my life.

An utter joy and feeling of belonging.

Or so I thought, until you left me.

I look up at the clock of my apartment. I've been living here a year now, and after all this time you're finally sitting in front of me as if nothing had happened. You, who came into my life like a storm, breaking down my walls and slipping your way into the gap of my heart. You, who saved me from becoming a slave, who taught me what it means to be a family and be part of a guild. You who offered me your hand and support to become a team when there were others who were more capable than I was. Your boyish grins, your loud laughter, the careful way you cherished me and refused to let others debase me, and even your terrible eating habits, I was fond of. You taught me to be strong, to learn that fear only tells you your weaknesses so that by accepting those weaknesses we can become stronger and kinder.

And that despite how oblivious you were that I had fallen head over heels for you during our time together, you still made feel stupidly joyous. You, who saved me from being kidnapped by phantom lord and jumped to catch me from a deathly fall, who after I was humiliated by Minerva, swore to make their guild pay for hurting me. And how you smiled so lovingly and so accomplished when you came to tell me you had won against Sting and Rogue even when I had told you I believed in you. You who made sure I felt treasured by telling me about your victory making sure I knew it was all for me. You who promised that I would never be alone as long as I had you and Fairy Tail.

You who made me believe forever existed.

And then you ripped it out of the reach of my hand faster than I had believed in it. But I realized then that I didn't feel lonely. I felt something much worse. Something that can't just be simplified into calling loneliness. You left in me a pain and a feeling much worse that can be described. Such emptiness you left in me. An aching deep in my heart.

You, who only left me with a note saying good bye, and not even bothering to ask if I was okay.

"Luce", he says from his position. I was startled out of my thoughts as I looked up at him to see he has a grin on his face. "Thanks for letting me stay at your place! You're a life saver", he laughs loudly his unruly pink locks had been to his shoulders. "Natsu, you should shower so I can cut that hair of yours", I say simply standing and not even glancing at him as I move to my desk and pretend I'm not about to burst into tears because after searching endlessly for him, he was finally in front of me. He feigned his absence wasn't a big deal. He doesn't even know what damage he's caused to my emotions. I catch a glimpse of a golden key as I hear him sigh and head into the restroom.

"Aquarius", I mutter as I hold the key against my chest taking deep breaths. Despite the fact that you hated me, I was so fond of you. I loved you simply because you were my first friend in my lonely mansion. She was gone before I could realize it to save my friends. To save Natsu. After a few more minutes, Natsu comes out talking about how Happy is taking way too long to come back from the store. I place the broken golden key to where I picked it up as Natsu places a hand on my shoulder. I flinch away not use to being touched after a year. "Hey, are you okay?" he asks me his eyes full of worry.

"Y-Yeah, I'm f-fine", I say as he frowns slightly. I force him to sit as I cut his hair to his usual fashion. "Lucy, what's wrong? You're hands are trembling", he mutters a little too softly. He stands up and I realize too late that tears are falling down my face as I let go of the scissors I'd been holding. The clattering is the only thing heard as his eyes are wide in shock. "Lucy, please just tell me. What's wrong", he mutters gently and almost seems to be desperate. I can't take the knot in my throat as a sob escapes my lips.

~~xXXx~~

"What's wrong?! What's wrong?! You come after a year and simply pretend like nothing happened?!" Lucy yells angrily as furious tears continue to slide down her cheeks. Natsu is clearly taken aback by how shaken she is when just hours ago she seemed calm. "Lucy, I", he began to say, but the blonde continued. "I don't think you realize just how hard it's been this past year. You said you were my best friend. Where were you when I needed you the most? You left me just like that without consideration of my feelings" she muttered. "You pretend like nothing happened. Like if you didn't do anything wrong. Did you think a simple note would be enough to keep me at ease? Would a note come to comfort me?" she asked incredulous as he looked down ashamed.

"I didn't have anyone! I lost my parents. Aquarius is gone for good because I sacrificed her key to save us. She was my mother's spirit and I just gave her up! And did you know master disbanded Fairy Tail? There were no friends that I could count on. And then when I thought nothing could be worse, you of all people. You, who I trusted, who I believed in and cared of with all my might, just left. And I felt like history was repeating itself. Everyone, in the end, leaves me behind. Abandons me with no return. Just leaves. Do you understand me, Natsu? I was completely alone with not a soul to heal my wounded heart or heal my loss. You made me believe in forever. But then you just went away…And I… I was alone", she whispered.

Natsu gave shaky breath as he suddenly took Lucy into his arms. The blonde began to slam her arms on his chest. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" She yelled as she began to sob again. Her hits began to diminish in strength until she was embracing Natsu for dear life. As if she felt that once she let go, he'd leave her again. Lucy had been through solitude most of her life. Natsu understood to some extent what she felt just like when Igneel disappeared. But she had been through so much more loss than he had. He felt guilt consume him as she rested her head against his chest. "You're not the only one who felt lonely, Lucy", he muttered as she looked up at him with curiosity. "The reason, I pretended that nothing happened was because I'm scared", Natsu said passing a hand at his hair as he paced slightly around the room

"What do you mean scared?" she asked him. He turned to hold her shoulders desperately. "I was scared to believe you hadn't been with me for a year. To think that you would see me differently after a year-long absence. To think that you could hate me. It terrified me. I could never handle it if you of all people hated me. There wasn't a day I didn't think of you. I couldn't write you a detailed letter because I honestly don't know how. I barely even learned the basics from Igneel and Erza. I don't know how to write, but I couldn't take you because you'd be in danger. What scared me is that being so long away from you, would make you too far from my reach. Do you truly believe that I left because I wanted to? I came to realize that I couldn't protect everyone the way I was. I lost Igneel, who I spent my entire life looking for since I was a kid. He died before my eyes, and I couldn't even save him." Natsu explained as he held back his own tears.

Lucy's eyes widened. She had no idea that Natsu was going through his own emotional turmoil, but to think she was on his mind the whole time made her heart thump. "You could have a least said goodbye", her voice shook as she looked at him with concern. "No," he began to say as she shook her head in confusion. He slightly stepped back as he tried to get his thoughts together.

"No because seeing you would have made me stay", he explained as her eyes widened. Was he insinuating what she thought he was? "Natsu, I-" she began to say, but he looked at her with a piercing gaze making the words die right then and there. He stalked to her and held her face in between his hands. "But you know what scared me most of all? It's the biggest reason why I left to get stronger and to train", he muttered to her as she stuttered. "W-What?" She questioned. "My drive to train, to work hard was that I was scared of the possibility that if I wasn't strong enough. Strong enough to defeat any enemy out there…I would lose you too", he muttered.

Her eyes began to water as his words processed in her head. Before she could think any further their lips met in a kiss. Her eyes widened as she finally saw tears pour down his face. He was so vulnerable before her, just like when she'd seen him mourn for Igneel. Her eyes fluttered shut as she reciprocated the kiss. It became more desperate and more passionate and full of something at first she couldn't described.

He wrapped his arms desperately around her waist as her hands instinctively tangled through his hair. It seemed that time froze and in that one kiss all their sorrow, their hardships, the yearning for their bodily contact, their heart's suffering was being poured into each other. "Lucy", he breathed in between kisses over and over again and it hypnotized her, made her remain in a daze at the way he whispered her name like he wouldn't for anyone else.

They broke apart but she was still in his hold as they both gazed into each other's eyes. This was it. This is what both had desired. To be in each other's arms. To simply breath the same air and laugh and cry together. Lucy realized then that this is the feeling she had felt all this time. An undeniable longing to be with the one person she loved more than anyone in the world. A longing to forever be by his side regardless of what obstacle or dangers lay ahead. He was all she needed. And for him it was the same.

And now they were together as they clung onto each other once more. Feeling yet again, that if they were to let go, they would be separated, they made a silent promise that they would no longer leave each other's side. From now and on Natsu promised that he would never let Lucy feel lonely again. Longing was such an unbearable feeling, yet it brought them together once more.

Crystal: Well I hope you guys like it and if you do I might consider putting up another late prompt I have saved in my documents for the prompt of 'Admiration'


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